Yesterday something happened to me that has never happened before. Little things built up and a few key events occurred back-to-back that tipped it off. I won't deal with specifics (I don't feel this is the appropriate venue for such conversation) but I would gladly discuss it with anyone that desires to know more.
It only lasted about 3 hours. For that, I am thankful. Others have certainly experienced longer bouts of this than that. I suppose you could call it a mood or perhaps a disposition. There were no dangerous thoughts or anything along those lines. In short, it involved a great deal of foundational introspection and radical thinking/questioning. But like I said, I don't wish to discuss anything more than this on here.
I do want to talk about what brought me back. There were three things.
1) A good friend. I'm not much for sentimental *explicative*. However, in this situation, the "ear-to-listen" that this friend embodied certainly was and still is appreciated. More than that, this friend pointed me to the things that matter in this life, the things that truly matter. All it took was directing me toward a picture, toward a memory captured, toward a history of a friendship, wrapped up into a plainly framed moment. Simple, yet shining brightly.
2) music. I'm not sure I will ever have the first clue as to how music is able to affect me the way it does. I have always been fond of music. Over the past 3 years, I have grown to love it though and as a result, it has become a part of who I am. But last night, music had an even more meaningful impact on my life/personality/thoughts. It motivated me. It kicked me in gear. It grabbed me, and pushed me forward.
3) philosophy :) Did you really think I could discuss this post without bring philosophy into it? There are pros and cons to philosophy [enter the audience's gasps of shock here]. As much as I would like to say that it is always good, it does have its drawbacks. I personally tend to equate it with and define it as "the questioning spirit" (that is just my view). And similar to the questioning spirit, where you are led can be disheartening and unfulfilling. You can either not find an answer, which can, but shouldn't always, be troubling, or you may not be comforted by the answer that is your result. Either way, the result of philosophy/"the questioning spirit" can be scary and very real.
But how did it help me on the last day of April? Well it wasn't a general aspect of philosophy but rather a specific thought (One huge upside to philosophy is the reality that pretty much everything ever has a philosophy and has been discussed intelligently, or perhaps not so, by someone somewhere). Last night I recalled a quote by Richard Comstock. He said, "If a person were to believe that the cosmos is moral, then one would attempt to behave morally, and thus [help] confirm their thesis." This was an example of a "truth requiring antecedent belief", which I actually critiqued James' use of them in my paper, but in this instance, I agree wholeheartedly.
To conclude this rather lengthy post, I'll state the thought in my own words: "If you believe the world to be moral, you first must act accordingly." Ponder that piece of prose people!
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This comment really frustrated me at first because you were so vague. It is annoy for someone to say they were/are 'feeling' a certain way but they aren't going to discuss it. It is like a teaser. I still hope to get more details on the situation. After reading the three things that caused you to experience 'this' (whatever it was you experienced) I was not surprised. Over the past couple of years those three things have a great deal of impact on your mood and feelings and thoughts. Anyway... moral. I completely agree with your closing comments. I like the quote "Be the change in the World you want to see." Which I feel is similarly related. (I hope I'm not way off your thought process.)
ReplyDeleteMegan,
ReplyDeleteI should clarify, the 3 things helped me get out of the mood, they didn't cause it. Other things, lots of things, caused it.
But I agree. I hate when people do what I just did as well.. That being said, I wanted to focus on the things that helped me out of it, not the things that caused it. Discussing the things that caused it would take too long and I don't really wanna type it on here. And you were certainly one of the people that I planned on going into great detail with about this.